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ON
THE DOWNLOW
Keeping It A Secret
Downlow (or "On the Downlow" or "DL") may refer to any
activity or relationship kept discreet or private. Generally, it
may refer to any kind of infidelity or covert affair.
Specifically, it may refer to keeping an act or action hidden or any
piece of information a secret ("I'll tell you, but I want you to keep it
on the down low").
Downlow is sexual
slang for men who are straight (heterosexual), and identify as straight,
but have sex with men (often a friend) on the side without disclosing
the activity to their female partner.
Some men in heterosexual relationships
have sex with other men without the knowledge of their wives or
girlfriends. Often these men do not consider themselves gay or bisexual.
The term has most often been associated
with African American men. Although the term originated in the African
American community, the behaviors associated with the term are not new
and not specific to black men who have sex with men.
Often, downlow behavior occurs in settings
and cultures in which being gay is socially unacceptable or morally
taboo and fiercely prohibited. While the practice of straight men
secretly having sex with men is seen across all ethnic groups, it
appears to be more prominent in communities in which traditional values
are strictly applied and rigid rules foster intolerance.
LINKS:
FAQs
About the Downlow
CDC:
Facts About Men on the Downlow
Is Your
Man on the Downlow?
Black Star News: My
Downlow Husband
JL King: On the Downlow
Black State: Downlow
and Debatable
San Francisco Chronicle: Gay Stigma Keeps Men on the Downlow
Flow 4 The World: What is the Downlow
Wikipedia: Men Who Have Sex With Men
UNAIDS: Men Who Have Sex With Men
Web MD: Straight Men Having Gay Sex
GLBTQ Encyclopedia: Men Who Have Sex With Men
R Kelly Video:
Downlow, Nobody Has to Know
 
We can keep it on the down low...
Nobody has to know...
Secret lovers is what you wanna be...
What is a man to do in a situation like this?
I feel there is something that I don't wanna miss...
-R Kelly Lyrics
WHAT IS MSM?
Not Necessarily Gay
Men who have sex with men (abbreviated as MSM, also known as
males who have sex with males) are
male persons who
engage in sexual activity with members of the same sex,
regardless of how they identify themselves; many men choose not
to accept
social identities
of
gay or
bisexual.
The term was created in the 1990s by
epidemiologists in order to study the spread of disease among
men who have sex with men, regardless of identity.
MSM is often used in
medical literature and
social research
to describe such men as a group for research studies without
considering issues of self-identification.
 
DOWNLOW MEMOIR
Author J L King
Author JL King has written three books about
the downlow phenomenon, most recently, "On
the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of Straight Black Men Who Sleep
with Men."
Joe Moe, a critic for Amazon, submitted
the following review of King's latest book:
The closer a secret is kept, the more
powerful the impact once it is finally revealed. Such is the case with
author and activist J.L. King's intriguing look at the lives and
lifestyles of black men who sleep with other men but do not consider
themselves to be gay. These men live "on the down low," the "DL" for
short, and their sexual activities have gained significant notice as the
rate of HIV/AIDS infection in black women has skyrocketed, with the vast
majority of cases coming from heterosexual sex.
King is a veteran of the DL himself and
his book serves partly as a social and psychological survey of the other
men he has surveyed and partly as highly candid memoir. King was well
regarded in his community, popular at his church, successful in his
career, and married to a woman who had no idea that his secret life
existed. But when she caught him in a lie and with another man, the
marriage collapsed and King's long and painful path to self-awareness
began. King cites the negative image many socially conservative black
men have of homosexuality as an obstacle to those men being honest with
their partners and themselves about who they are.
Among the more intriguing elements of
On the Down Low are the peculiar approaches men on the DL have to
the sexual act, seeking a strictly physical sexual relationship with
their secret male partners while remaining in more traditional
arrangements with women. Whether this discrepancy is a product of
scrupulously guarded secrecy and shame or the natural preference of an
understudied sexual identity is one of the numerous questions raised by
this book. Though the infection statistics make the DL a huge public
health issue, King is neither a sociologist nor a medical professional.
And while a more clinical look at this issue would be welcome, King
accomplished what he set out to do: provide light and insight into a
world that so many have worked so hard to keep in the shadows.
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