Partner - Primary domestic partner or spousal relationship among same
TOWARD A COMMON LANGUAGE
Asexual: Designation or self-designation for people who lack feelings of “sexual attraction” and/or “sexual desire.” There is debate as to whether this is a “sexual dysfunction” or an actual “sexual orientation.” The term is also sometimes used as a “gender identity” by those who believe their lack of sexual attraction places them outside the standard definitions of “gender.”
Biphobia: The fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of bisexuals by people of any sexual orientation.. Biphobic stereotypes include, but are not limited to: promiscuity, polygamy, living the swinging lifestyle, and being confused. In some cases, bisexuals are accused of bringing sexually transmitted disease into the heterosexual community or into the lesbian community. Gays and lesbians who express biphobia might accuse bisexuals of maintaining heterosexual privilege and collaborating with homophobes. The belief that that bisexuality does not truly exist is another example of biphobia.
Bisexual (bi): A person who is emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, and/or relationally attracted to people of more than one gender, but not necessarily simultaneously or equally. Some people who are attracted to more than one gender may still identify as “lesbian,” “gay,” or “straight,” because of their own personal definitions of those terms or feelings relating to their sexuality. On the other hand, some bisexuals consider themselves distinct from gays and lesbians but part of the larger LGBT or queer community. It is also important to understand that a bisexual person is not necessarily attracted equally to both genders, and many tend to prefer one or the other.
Boydyke: A lesbian or bisexual woman, who chooses the "dyke" label to identify with that group's politics and community, and also identifies as boyish or as a boy. It can be a transgender identity in which a person stands with one foot in the "boy" world and one in the "dyke" world, or simply an adjective for someone who performs “butchness” in a certain way.
Butch: Used as an adjective - "I'm butch" or "I'm a butch woman" as opposed to a noun "I am a Butch". The term is used to describe lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. It can be used to describe straight men and women also, though this is less common. It is most commonly used to describe women who take on or embody culturally defined masculine traits. As with anyone who displays “masculine traits, a self-identified butch woman may or may not be sexually aggressive.
Closeted: Being “in the closet” means keeping your sexual orientation a secret. Many LBGT people remain in the closet because of fear of rejection, harassment, and anti-gay violence. However, like an actual closet, many LBGT people find that this mental closet is an isolated, stifling place. “Closeted” an adjective describing a LGBTQ person who represents him or herself as heterosexual. A person may be “closeted” to some and “out” to others at the same time.
Coming Out: The developmental process in which a person acknowledges, accepts, and appreciates his or her sexual orientation, gender identity, or sex identity. Coming out is a lifelong process, starting with coming out to oneself and then to others.
Down Low: A term used to refer to men who maintain a heterosexual identity and lifestyle in their daily lives, but engage in same-sex intercourse as a secret part of their lives.
Drag: The act of dressing in gendered clothing as part of a performance. Drag may be performed as a political comment on gender, as parody, or simply as entertainment. Drag performance does not indicate sexuality, gender identity, or sex identity.
Drag Queen: A gay man who performs using exaggerated forms of feminine attire and attitudes, usually for performance or entertainment purposes.
Drag King: A lesbian who performs using exaggerated forms of masculine attire and attitudes, usually for performance or entertainment purposes.
En femme: A heterosexual man when he is wearing women’s clothes.
En drab: A heterosexual man who likes to wear women’s clothes, when he is not wearing women’s clothes.
Family: Colloquial term used to identify other LGBTIQ community members. For example, an LGBTIQ person saying, “that person is family” often means that the person they are referring to is LGBTIQ as well.
Family of choice (chosen family): Persons or group of people an individual sees as significant in his or her life. It may include none, all, or some members of his or her family of origin. In addition, it may include individuals such as significant others, domestic partners, friends, and coworkers.
Femme: Might be considered the opposite of “butch.” “Femme” is also an adjective – as in, “I’m a femme.” People who are femme usually identify as women and express themselves in ways culturally considered feminine.
FTM: Female to Male Transsexual.
Gay/Lesbian: A person who is emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex. Preferred over the term homosexual. “Gay” is usually used to describe males but may be used to describe females as well. “Lesbian” refers to females.
Gender: A socially constructed collect of traits, behaviors, and meanings that have been traditionally attributed to biological differences.
Gender Expression: Outward behaviors and appearances (e.g. hair, clothing, voice, body language) by which people manifest their gender identity or gender choices.
Gender Identity: The gender that a person sees themselves as. This can include identifying as a combination of genders or refusing to label oneself with a gender. Gender identity is often confused with or considered tied to sexual orientation, but this is inaccurate. Gender identity and sexual orientation are exclusive off each other. For example, a woman who identifies with a masculine gender is not necessarily a lesbian.
Gender-neutral: Nondiscriminatory language usage that can apply equal to people of any gender identity. “Spouse” and “partner” are gender-neutral alternatives to the gender-specific words “husband,” “wife,” “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” The use of the gender-neutral pronouns “ze” (instead of she/he) and “hir” (instead of his/her) are preferred by some as a way to inclusive of all genders in language use.
Gender Queer, Gender Benders, Gender Variant, Gender Outlaws, Gender Non-Conformist, etc.: A person who redefines or plays with gender, or who refuses gender altogether. A label for people who bend/break the rules of gender and blur the boundaries.
Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS)/Gender Confirmation Surgery/Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS): Surgery to make a person’s outward physical appearance conform more closely with their gender identity. Not all transsexuals feel the need to have surgery; however, the surgery is required in all states in order to change the sex on one’s birth certificate, driver’s license or passport, etc. Such surgery is also often necessary to “pass” in society and avoid daily harassment.
Gender Roles: Are the socially constructed and culturally specific norms of behavior and appearance expectations imposed based on biological sex (i.e. femininity and masculinity).
Gender-Variant/Gender Non-Conforming: Displaying culturally specific gender traits that are not normatively associated with their biological sex. “Feminine” behavior or appearance in a male is gender-variant as is “masculine” behavior or appearance a female.
Heterosexual: A person who is primarily or exclusively emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, and/or relationally attracted to people of the “opposite” sex.
Heterosexual Privilege: Benefits derived automatically by being (or being perceived as) heterosexual that are denied to homosexuals, bisexuals, and queers.
Homosexual: A person who is primarily or exclusively attracted to people of the same sex. This term is not used much any more as it I seen is associated the pathologizing of non-heterosexuality as a mental disorder.
Hormone Replacement Therapy: Taking hormones to enable one’s outward appearance to conform more closely to one’s inner gender identity.
Intersex: A naturally occurring condition that affects the reproductive and sexual system. Intersex people are born with sex chromosomes, external genitalia, or internal reproductive systems that are not considered "standard" for either male or female. The existence of intersexuals is evidence of the reality that there are not just two sexes and that our ways of thinking about sex (trying to force everyone to fit into either the male box or the female box) is socially constructed.
LGBTQQIAA: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally.
MTF: Male to Female Transsexual.
Outing: Exposing someone’s sexual orientation to others, usually without their permission.
Pansexual: A person who is fluid in sexual orientation and/or gender or sex identity.
Polyamory: The practice of having multiple open, honest love relationships.
Queens: People who identify as men, are attracted to other people who identify as men, and adopt mannerisms culturally considered “feminine.”
Queer: Originally a pejorative term for gay people, many LGBTQ people have reclaimed this term as an inclusive and positive way to identify all non-heterosexual and/or non-gender-conforming people. Some people still are uncomfortable labeling themselves or using the word “queer,” but many younger LGBT people use “queer” as both a political statement and a reflection of their approach to sexuality and gender.
Real Life Test (RLT): The generally required period of time during which a transsexual lives in the “target” gender (the gender the transsexual knows himself/herself to be) before undergoing surgery.
Sex: Refers to a person based on their anatomy (external genitalia, chromosomes, and internal reproductive system). Sex terms are male, female, transsexual, and intersex. Sex can be thought of as biological gender, where social views and experiences of sex are cultural.
Sexual Behavior: What a person does in terms of erotic or sexual acts, such as: masturbate, kiss, make out, be sexually inexperienced or same-sex experienced or multiple-sex experienced or other-sex experienced, be monogamous or non-monogamous, be abstinent or sexually active with men, women, etc.
Sexuality: The complex range of components which make us sexual beings; includes emotional, physical, and sexual aspects, as well as self-identification (including sexual orientation and gender), behavioral preferences and practices, fantasies, and feelings of affection and emotional affinity.
Sexual Orientation: An enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, affectional, and relational attraction to another person. Can involve fantasy, behavior, and self-identification; a person’s general makeup or alignment in terms of partner attraction. Sexual orientation is fluid and may range from or encompass identifications including, but not limited to same-sex orientations, male-female orientations, or a bisexual orientations.
Sexual Preference: What a person likes or prefers to do sexually; a conscious recognition or choice not to be confused with the sexual orientation one identifies with.
Stonewall: Viewed as the birth of the modern gay/lesbian liberation; the Stonewall Inn was raided by police in June 1969, and, unlike many previous police raids, this time, the drag queens, gays and lesbians and transgender clientele fought back during five days of rioting and rebellion that transformed the self consciousness of the emerging LGBT movement..
Sex Identity: The sex that a person sees themselves as. This can include refusing to label oneself with a sex.
Straight: Person who is attracted to a gender other than their own, also called “heterosexual.” Commonly thought of as “attraction to the opposite gender,” but since there are not only two genders (see transgender), this definition is inaccurate.
Top Surgery: Surgery to reduce the size of one’s breasts and/or to reconstruct one’s chest.
Transgender (transgendered, trans, or TG): “Transgender” is often used as an umbrella term and refers most broadly to those who transgress societal gender norms. Generally, people who identify as transgender exhibit some behavior or traits that falls outside of traditional gender expectations. Transgender is often used to include people who identify as androgynous, as cross-dressers, as gender-benders or gender queer, and as transsexuals. Some intersex individuals identify as transgender. The boundaries of the term transgender are not rigid and the term is used differently in different contexts (i.e.: medical/psychological, academic, etc.)
Transphobia: Fear, hatred, or discomfort with transgender people and with the blurring of gender boundaries manifested through violence, harassment and various forms of discrimination and invisibility.
Transsexual: A person whose gender identity differs from what is culturally associated with their biological sex at birth. Some, but not all, transsexuals wish to change their bodies to be congruent with their gender identity through sex reassignment surgery. Many transsexual people refer to themselves as transgendered.
Two-Spirited: An umbrella term for third-gender people used among Native American and Canadian First Nations tribes. It usually implies a masculine spirit and a feminine spirit living in the same body. It is also used more generally by LGBT and intersex Native Americans to describe themselves. Two-Spirited people traditionally had distinct gender and social roles in their tribes. Some are counselors while others are medicine persons or spiritual functionaries. They study skills including story telling, theater, magic, hypnotism, healing, herbal medicine, ventriloquism, singing, music and dance.
Adapted from the online encyclopedia Wikipedia at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki and http://www.uqu.uq.edu.au/queer/glossary/base_view.
A L G B T I C A L Association for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Issues in Counseling of Alabama