TIPS FOR PARENTS
Supporting Your LGBT Child
Engage with your
child. Your LGBT child requires and
deserves the same level of care, respect, information, and support as
non-LGBT children. Ask questions, listen, empathize, share and just be
there for your child.
Get informed.
Get the facts about sexual
orientation and gender identity. Learn new
language and the correct terminology to
communicate effectively about sexual
orientation and gender identity. Challenge
yourself to learn and to go beyond
stereotyped images of LGBT people.
Get to know the community. What resources are available? Find out if there is a Gay/Straight Alliance at school, a community group for LGBT and questioning teens, a bookstore with a selection of books and magazines on LGBT issues, or a LGBT community center nearby.
Explore the Internet. There is a growing amount of excellent information on the World Wide Web that connects people with support and materials on these important topics.
Find out where your local PFLAG group meets. Many parents say that their connections with other parents of LGBT kids made a world of difference in their progress toward understanding their young people. Finding another person you can trust to share your experience with is invaluable. Many people have gone through similar things and their support, lessons learned, and empathy can be very valuable.
Don't make it ALL there is. Just because your child has come out as LGBT does not mean the young person's whole world revolves around sex or sexual orientation or gender identity. It will be a big part of who the youth is, especially during the process of figuring it all out, including what it means to be LGBT. Still, being LGBT isn't the sum of life for your child, and it is vital to encourage your child in other aspects of life, such as school, sports, hobbies, friends, and part-time jobs.
Ask your child before you "come out" to others on the child's behalf. Friends and family members might have questions or want to know what's up; but it is most important to be respectful of what your child wants. Don't betray your child's trust!
Praise your LGBT child for coming to you to discuss this issue. Encourage the youth to continue to keep you "in the know." If your child turns to you to share personal information, you're must be doing something right! You are askable. You're sending out consistent verbal and non-verbal cues that say, "Yes, I'll listen. Please talk to me!" Give yourself some credit—your LGBT child chose to come out to you. Congratulations!
Find out what kind of support services are in place at your child's school. Does the school or school district have a non-discrimination policy? Is a there an LGBT/straight support group? Do you know any "out" people, or their friends and loved ones, to whom you can turn for information?
Educate yourself on local, state and national laws and polices regarding LGBT people. On the national level, LGBT people are still second-class citizens in regard to some national policies and their rights are not guaranteed by law. Consider educating yourself about this and finding out what you can do to work toward extending equal rights to LGBT people in the United States.
NOTE TO MY KID
Messages of Unconditional Love
A new and inspiring website called
"A Note To My Kid" allows parents to share letters of support for their
LGBT sons or daughters. It is a very heartfelt and encouraging
on-line service for the LGBT community and youth.
Communication between parents and their LGBT children is critical. The goal is for "A Note To My Kid" to serve as a platform for communicating love, acceptance and support during a time of great need.
It is also hoped that it will provide parents who are not sure how to broach the subject of sexuality with an opportunity to learn from example. "A Note To My Kid" provides parents of LGBT and questioning youth, or a any parent for that matter, with a medium for expanding communication and expressing unconditional love.
LINK:
Note To My Kid