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ALGBTICAL
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SCENARIOS & CRITICAL
INCIDENTS
Submitted by School Counselors
AGLBICAL seeks to
provide critical GLBT information to school counselors. Many
school counselors have expressed a great need for resources relevant to
addressing the needs and concerns of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and
transgender students in their classrooms. To effectively respond to
this request and to better provide the necessary resources and tools, AGLBICAL solicits specific feedback from school counselors.
AGLBICAL asks school counselors to share their stories and scenarios regarding their students’ experiences in matters related to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender concerns. What issues have you encountered with your students? What critical incidents have you observed? What problems have you faced with your students? What questions or concerns have been brought to you by your students? What difficulties have you had in addressing your students’ inquiries?
School counselors are encouraged to submit their scenarios to AGLIBICAL. Once the case studies have been compiled and specific interventions have been devised, a resource database will be created to provide helpful information to aid school counselors in their vital work with troubled, confused, and mistreated students.
This
website is
intended as a way for school counselors and others to obtain answers to
their questions and conveniently access the resources they need.
School counselors and others wishing to share their stories, questions,
occurrences, concerns, and critical incidents are invited to post their
submissions.
CLASSROOM SCENARIOS
Hypothetical Situations
By
Dr. Jamie Satcher and Dr. Mark Leggett, counselor educators at
The University of Alabama, from their ALCA Journal Article, "What to Say When Your Student
May be Gay?
A Primer for School Counselors"
Scenario One
The following scenario takes place in a school counselor’s office:
Male Student (age 17): I think that I might be gay.
Counselor: What makes you think that?
Male Student: Well, most of my friends have girlfriends and I don’t.
Counselor: Well that doesn’t mean you are gay. You might just not be
ready to date.
Male Student: No, it is more than that. I don’t really want to date
girls. I am more interested in
boys. I know it sounds weird. I am just really confused, scared, and not
sure what to do.
Counselor: I understand that, but you need to know that if you choose
this lifestyle there are
going to be some difficult times ahead for you.
Male Student: What do you mean?
Counselor: Well, that lifestyle is really hard for most people to
accept. Have you shared this
with anyone else?
Male Student: No.
Counselor: I can’t help you. You probably need to speak with your
parents about this matter or
your minister.
(Other possible response of counselor)
Counselor: Being gay is not acceptable behavior. You need to stop
worrying about it and everything
will work itself out.
Or Counselor: This is probably just a phase that you are going through.
It will pass.
The above is a scenario in which a student discloses to the school
counselor his struggle
with sexuality only to be redirected to another individual or given a
value- or moral-based
response. This counselor ignored the frustration and fear the student
was experiencing and,
instead, placed more focus on how others would react. The counselor
seemed unprepared or too
uncomfortable to deal with the situation and quickly referred the
student to his parents or minister.
Scenario Two
The following scenario provides a different response from the counselor
in trying to meet the
needs of the struggling student:
Male Student (age 17): I think that I might be gay.
Counselor: How long have you been feeling this way?
Male Student: I’m not sure, maybe a couple of years, maybe longer.
Counselor: It sounds like you have been struggling with these feelings
for quite some time. Is
being gay something that would be difficult or hard for you to deal
with?
Male Student: Gosh yes! It would be a nightmare! I am really confused
and upset because I
don’t want to be gay.
Counselor: The idea of being gay is very frightening to you. What kinds
of things about being
gay frighten you?
Male Student: That my parents would kill me or kick me out of the house.
My friends would
probably stop talking to me, especially the ones at my church. They all
talk so much about how
wrong and sinful it is. Plus, I see how other kids who are gay get
treated. I am really scared.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything to you.
Counselor: I can see how upset and scared you are, even about talking to
me, and am glad that
you came to see me. My office is a safe place for you to talk and the
things you share with me
will remain confidential.
Male Student: Thanks.
Counselor: I also want to say that I am proud of you for talking about
this with me. I think you
are very brave. Tell me more about why you think you may be gay.
Male Student: Many of my male friends have girlfriends and they are
always talking about girls
and sex. I feel like I can’t relate to them when that topic comes up.
Counselor: You feel left out and different from your friends. Have you
ever had a girlfriend?
Male Student: No, I am really not interested in girls. At least the way
they talk about them.
Counselor: Are you more interested in boys?
Male Student: Well, I guess, sort of. I just can’t imagine having a
boyfriend though. It just
seems wrong. What do you think?
Counselor: Well, some people believe that homosexuality is wrong and is
a choice. Others
believe that you are born that way and it is a part of who you are. What
is important to me is
what you believe.
Male Student: I don’t know what to believe?
Counselor: I am available and more than happy to help you sort out what
you believe. I can also
provide you with some resources that might help.
Male student: Thanks.
In this scenario, the counselor listened and displayed empathy without
giving a value-based
response and without immediately referring the student. The counselor
also praised the student
for coming forth to talk about his struggle and assured the student that
the counselor’s office
was a safe place.
Discussion
When working with students who are gay, school counselors must
understand that disclosing
this personal struggle with another individual is a major step. These
students have most
likely been internalizing frustrations and doubts about their sexual
identity for quite a period of
time before reaching the point of acknowledging or disclosing it to
someone. Depending on the
age of the student, he or she may have been struggling with this issue
for many years. The role
of the counselor is to respond or facilitate the student’s growth in a
number of ways, including
(a) active listening, (b) displaying genuine support and caring, (c)
allowing the student to tell his
or her story, (d) asking appropriate probing questions, (e) helping the
student process feelings
about sexuality, (f) protecting the student, and (g) evaluating for
clinical symptoms. Other roles
include (a) exploring fears about coming out, (b) helping the student to
discover and connect
with positive resources, and (c) continuing to be supportive throughout
the process of self exploration.
At the very onset of the initial counseling session, the student needs
to be affirmed,
encouraged, and empowered for coming forth to address and share his or
her struggle with the
counselor. Sexual identity is a difficult and sensitive issue, and
dealing with being gay requires
courage and strength. In many situations, students who are struggling
with sexual identity are
turned away by friends, ministers, parents, or other helping
professionals. If they are not turned
away, then they are instead given clichéd responses such as “This is
simply a phase,” “Everyone
questions their sexuality at some time in their life,” or “You will be
fine.” Some may even be
told they are sinful or immoral.
When students find a counselor who doesn’t react with shock or make any
of the above
judging statements, a huge weight is lifted from their shoulders.
Providing a safe and nonjudgmental
environment for students struggling with sexual identity is crucial to
helping them
process their feelings, as well as ensuring that they will return to see
the counselor in the future.
Basic counseling skills such as listening, genuineness, caring, and
understanding are important
in letting these students know that they are being heard and will be supported.
Allowing students to tell their story is the next step in counseling
with them. Students
should be encouraged to express their feelings and thoughts regarding
their sexual identity, such
as their attraction to members of the same sex and any experiences they
have had which have
led them to conclude that they are not heterosexual. Appropriate probing
questions which can
assist in gathering or processing this information include the
following: What events have led
you to believe that you may be gay? How long can you remember feeling
this way? With whom
have you shared these feelings? Have you told your parents and what was
their response? What
are some of your fears about being gay? Some students may need
assistance in verbalizing their
own ideas of sexual identity, relations with peers, and feelings about
emotional and sexual
attractions to others. These probing questions will assist the counselor
to explore some of the
fears or concerns these students may have.
Gay students also struggle with behaviors that could give them away or
out them as
being gay. This struggle is commonly based on fears of rejection by
their peers and, in some
cases, fears of torment or abuse from other students. Quite often, fears
of coming out to others
is a primary concern. The term coming out refers to informing friends,
family, and others of
their sexual identity. These students should not be pushed to come out
to anyone until they have
fully explored their own feelings and have reached a point where they
are comfortable sharing
with others where they are in their life in accepting their sexuality.
Coming out too early can
cause other unnecessary stressors in the student’s life.
In relation to fears of coming out, it is the counselor’s responsibility
to show zero tolerance
for any verbal or physical abuse from other students in the school,
regardless of the basis
for their torment. This stance will show the student that the counselor
will take all measures to
protect and provide a safe environment for all students regardless of
their sexual identity.
Bullying, name calling, putdowns, or any other forms of verbal or
physical abuse are not acceptable
in any school.
A number of clinical symptoms are associated with adolescents who are
struggling with
their sexual identity. Evaluation of the student should consider
symptoms of depression, anxiety,
suicidal ideations, and drug or alcohol use. If these symptoms are
present, they need to be
addressed immediately. In some cases, an appropriate referral may need
to be made.
It is the counselor’s responsibility to become familiar with positive
resources that are
available to gay youth. Numerous on-line resources specialize in
assisting students in their struggle
with sexual identity (see Table 1). Some of the topics addressed include
self-esteem, coming
out to friends and to parents, and dealing with nontolerant behaviors
and violence. Links and hotline
numbers for support systems are available not only for the gay or
lesbian student, but also
for parents and friends who are having a difficult time accepting and
dealing with this issue.
Encourage the student to explore these options, identifying the ones
that will serve as a best fit
for the student’s perspective, background, and needs. Some students may
be struggling with religious
values and ideas. Many positive resources address sexual identity from a
religious perspective.
Encourage the student to seek out as many of these supportive resources
as possible.
Finally, the counselor must protect the student from any form of discrimination in the
school from other students, teachers, or administrators. Some states and
school systems have
specific laws and policies on handling discrimination based on sexual
orientation. Furthermore,
the American School Counselors Association’s position statement on
sexual orientation is clear
in its mandate to respect for and equal treatment of individuals
regardless of sexual orientation.
Ethical practice requires that this mandate be followed when serving
students who are not heterosexual.