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Elen & Cyndi Lauper
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Cari Searcy and
Kim McKeand
With Khaya Ray Searcy
Rosie O'Donnell
& Kelli Carpenter
The O'Donnell Family
Also Includes Two Sons
and Two Daughters
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FAMILY AND
ADOPTION INFO
Gay Adoption:
New Take on the
American Family
US News:
Gay Adoption Battle
Same Sex
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IDEA: Adoption
By Same Sex Couples
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About: Gay
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Everywhere
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ROSIE & KELLI
O'DONNELL
Marriage And Family
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Rosie and
Kelli O'Donnell |
Rosie and Kelli O'Donnell were married in San Francisco in 2004. Rosie
appeared on Good Morning America and called President Bush's statement
against same-sex marriages, "the most vile and hateful words ever spoken
by a sitting president." Rosie and
her partner Kelli have been together since 1998. Kelli changed her last
name from Carpenter to O'Donnell.
Childhood: Rosie
O'Donnell was born in 1962 to Edward and Roseann O'Donnell. Rosie's
mother died of breast cancer when she was 10 years old. She
describes the time of her mother's death as extremely difficult.
Star Search: Rosie toured comedy clubs
from 1979-1984. She was a comedy champion on the TV show Star
Search and hosted Stand-Up Spotlight on VH1.
Movie Credits: Rosie has appeared in
the following movies:
A
League of Their Own -1992
Sleepless in
Seattle - 1993
Beautiful Girls
- 1996
A Very Brady Sequel
- 1996
Talk Show Host: Rosie
hosted The Rosie O'Donnell Show from 1996-2002. She
won an Emmy in 1998 for Outstanding Talk Show.
Children:
Son Parker Jaren
adopted in 1995
Daughter Chelsea Belle
adopted in 1997
Son Blake Carpenter
adopted in 1999
Vivienne Rose
O'Donnell born to Rosie's partner Kelli Carpenter in 2002
Married!: Rosie has been with her
partner Kelli Carpenter since 1998. They married in San Francisco on
February 26, 2004 as one of more than 3,000 couples who tied the
knot after Mayor Gavin Newsom declared gay unions legal in that
County.
Coming Out: Rosie came out in March
2002 in an interview with Diane Sawyer on Primetime Thursday.
Magazine: Rosie walked away from
Rosie magazine in 2002 claiming she had lost editorial control.
Rosie the Activist: Rosie decided to
come out as a lesbian after learning the plight of a gay couple from
Florida who were not allowed to adopt the foster children they were
raising. Steve Lofton and Roger Croteau have several foster children
that they wish to adopt. The laws in Florida do not allow for
same-sex couples to adopt. Rosie told Diane Sawyer, "I don't think
America knows what a gay parent looks like. I am a gay parent."
Rosie was appalled
during her trial with her magazine that her partner Kelli was called
to testify against her. Married spouses are protected from
testifying against each other. Rosie said, "We applied for spousal
privilege and were denied it by the state. As a result, everything
that I said to Kelli, every letter that I wrote her, every e-mail,
every correspondence and conversation was entered into the record,"
O'Donnell said. "After the trial, I am now and will forever be a
total proponent of gay marriage."
-Kathy Belge /
Lesbian Life / About.Com
GAY ADOPTION STATS
Debate Over Same Sex Couples Seeking
Adoption
In support of adoption by gays and lesbians, the American Academy of
Pediatrics, the Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) and adoption
advocacy groups cite research that children with gay or lesbian parents
fare as well as those raised in families with a mother and a father.
Conservative groups such as Concerned Women for America say the research
is flawed.
Children in foster care "are
already scarred" by abuse and neglect, says Bill Maier, a child psychologist
with the conservative Focus on the Family. "We would want to do everything we
could to place them in the optimal home environment."
There are about 520,000 children in foster care, according to the North American
Council on Adoptable Children in St. Paul. Of those, 120,000 are available for
adoption, but only 50,000 find permanent homes each year.
"The child welfare system is already in crisis," said Rob Woronoff of the CWLA.
"We don't have enough families as it is."
Actress and comedian Rosie O'Donnell, a foster parent in Florida who helped lead
a failed effort in 2004 to overturn that state's ban on gay adoptions, said in
an interview that gays and lesbians are often willing to take children that
straight couples won't. She said she once cared for a girl who had been in 30
foster homes and who was later adopted by a friend.
"As a gay person, as a child, you
kind of know what it's like to be the odd one out," said O'Donnell, a lesbian
who has four adopted children, including one born to her partner, Kelli
Carpenter O'Donnell. "To deny people the right to try to reach kids who are
unreachable is wrong."
The government doesn't keep statistics on adoptions by gays and lesbians. Gary
Gates, a UCLA demographer who studies gays and lesbians, analyzed 2000 Census
data and estimates that about 250,000 children are being raised by same-sex
couples and that 5% of those children, or 12,500, were adopted.
The push against adoption by lesbians and gay men comes after successful
campaigns in 11 states in 2004 to define marriage as a union between a man and a
woman. At least six more states — Alabama, Arizona, Idaho, South Carolina, South
Dakota and Wisconsin — may put marriage on the ballot in the near future.
But if gay marriage unites most conservatives in opposition, gay adoption does
not. Already, there are splits among Republicans.
"This is not an issue about gays,"
says Ohio House Speaker Jon Husted, a Republican, who was adopted as a child.
"This is about children." Although he favored legislation to ban same-sex
marriage in Ohio, he opposes the adoption bill and has no plans to schedule a
hearing to discuss it.
Recent polling by Democratic consultant Peter Hart for the Human Rights
Campaign, a gay rights group, also indicates the issue may not find favor among
the general public. Asked about a constitutional amendment to ban adoptions by
gays and lesbians, 58% of Missouri voters and 62% of Ohio voters said they would
vote against it.
"Conservatives may well overreach if they try to ban gays from adopting
children," Brookings Institution political analyst Thomas Mann says. "Americans
have become more tolerant of same-sex relations, and this action may strike them
as unnecessarily punitive."
(USA Today)
GLBT ADOPTION
Same Sex Pair Seek Court Okay to
Adopt
A Mobile woman raising a baby boy with the child's mother wants to adopt
him as a second parent, a legal step of significance in a state that
just passed a constitutional amendment banning gay marriages.
Cari Searcy's
partner, Kim McKeand, gave birth to the baby boy in December with the
aid of a donor. Searcy then sought to become the adoptive parent of the
child, who bears her last name. Adoption would give Searcy rights to
make medical decisions for the child as well as securing the sense of
family in their home.
But Searcy's application was denied in probate court May 3. McKeand said
the judge ruled against adoption because Alabama does not recognize
same-sex marriages. She said their case is now going to the Alabama
Court of Civil Appeals.
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Cari Searcy (left) and Kim McKeand with Khaya Ray Searcy in
Mobile
AP Photo by
Robb Carr
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"We're going to do whatever we can to get it passed here," Searcy said.
"It is discouraging when we think about the current environment against
gays in our state, but I have to believe that somewhere in our court
system there are still fair-minded judges."
McKeand, 28, and Searcy, 30, who met at college in Texas and moved to
Mobile five years ago, have real concerns about the medical care of the
baby, Khaya Ray Searcy. The child was born with a hole in his heart and
the first weeks were difficult.
"He had to have open heart
surgery in Atlanta and we ran into some issues with my not being a legal
parent," Searcy said. "It was really hard." McKeand said she had to
learn how to insert a feeding tube in Khaya's nose before they could
bring him home from the hospital. Because she didn't feel comfortable
doing the procedure, Searcy volunteered to learn. But the nurses would
not teach her.
"They said, 'No, you're not the parent, Kim is,' " McKeand said.
"Finally it took our doctor — the cardiologist — to step in and say it
was OK." Khaya now has a clean bill of health, but the couple has
not forgotten the experience.
"That's what really pushed me to get this second parent adoption," said
Searcy.
Wide impact...
The legal resolution of
the court case might have a wide impact — according to 2000 census data,
there are gay families in every county in the state. And the issue is
not confined to Alabama.
"It's happening all over the country," said Adam Pertman, executive
director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute.
"It's happening because the agencies responsible for those kids have
decided that the gay and lesbian population is one worth placing kids."
The New York-based institute, which is not affiliated with any gay
rights organizations, released a report in March that found there is no
child-centered reason to prevent gays and lesbians from becoming
adoptive parents.
"Research shows gay and lesbian parents provide good homes," Pertman
said.
Support for children...
He said the community
should support the children no matter what kind of family they grow up
in.
"Bringing our views or prejudices on the kids is not productive," he
said. "The community should support a system that places kids in
permanent, safe and loving homes. We have to support that for the sake
of the kids." The American Academy of Pediatrics supports
legislation and legal efforts to provide second-parent adoptions by
same-sex parents. The Alabama chapter of the academy believes all
children benefit from being raised by caregivers who are constant,
dependable, loving and dedicated to children's safety.
According to an article in the July edition of Pediatrics, in early 2006
efforts were under way in at least 16 states including Alabama to
introduce constitutional amendments prohibiting gay and lesbian
individuals and couples from adopting children or being foster parents.
"Same-sex parenting is a controversial issue in our country," Linda Lee,
executive director of the Alabama chapter, said. "Our main concern is
that children, regardless of the circumstances in which they live,
receive the best of care."
Two parents better...
Jonathan Klein, associate
professor of pediatrics at the University of Rochester in New York,
contributed to the July article and is the chair of the AAP Committee on
Adolescence.
"I think evidence on the developmental outcome of children shows that,
overall, two parents are probably better than one," Klein said. He also
said that parents with established legal custody have a variety of
benefits that isn't always available to same-sex couples even if they're
playing that role in a child's life.
"I think if parents are not able to be involved in all aspects of their
communities because of a community's attitudes, that potentially damages
families," Klein said.
Searcy and McKeand talked about being parents, but it wasn't until about
a year ago that they felt it was the right time. "We found a donor who
is a really good friend of ours and he signed over all his rights,"
Searcy said.
They enjoy a measure of acceptance in Mobile. Searcy works for a video
production company and McKeand works for a broadcaster that provides
domestic partner health benefits covering them both. "Our home is a
normal one," said Searcy.
"It's filled with love, commitment and support. Our sexual orientation
is just a small part of who we are. Kim and I are dedicated to giving
Khaya the best life possible and we're going to do what it takes to do
that."
-By Amanda
Thomas / Associated Press Writer
PRAYER FOR BOBBY
The Story of a Mother's Grief
 
In 1989, Leroy Aarons read a newspaper story about a
young man's suicide. Particularly striking to him was
the mother, Mary Griffith, who had tried throughout her
son's adolescence to "pray away" his "gay nature". Bobby
Griffith suffered enormously from his family’s lack of
support and the condemnation of his church. At age 20,
he jumped to his death from a freeway bridge in
Portland, Oregon.
Mary was transformed by her loss and eventually
renounced the rigid religious beliefs that had kept her
from fully accepting Bobby during his lifetime.
The Griffiths' story resonated with Aarons' own
transformation as an openly gay journalist and
activist.
After Bobby’s death, his mother became an iconic
activist for the national association Parents, Families
and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG),
urging parents to understand and accept their children's
homosexuality.
"This extraordinary conversion touched me as deeply as
the tale of Bobby’s tragic death," Aarons wrote. "What
enabled her to transcend her background and perform what
could only be described as acts of courage."
After leaving daily journalism in 1991, Aarons began to
explore the Griffiths' stories in depth.
Prayers for Bobby: A
Mother’s Coming to Terms With the Suicide of Her Gay Son—Aarons'
first book—was published by
HarperCollins
in 1996. A film adaptation, Prayers for Bobby,
debuted on January 24, 2009, on Lifetime TV.
Book Link:
Amazon: Prayers for
Bobby (Mother’s Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her
Gay Son)
Movie
Links:
Prayers for Bobby
(TV Movie)
Lifetime TV: Prayers
for Bobby (TV Movie)
CYNDI LAUPER & HER LESBIAN SISTER
Interview With Cyndi and Elen
Cyndi & Elen Lauper Talk About First
Crushes, Fairness & Cousin Vinny’s Wedding in Summer 2006 Edition of
MRC's Equality Magazine
There you are, flying across midtown Manhattan at sunset in a town
car with the Lauper sisters. Cyndi is talking about growing up in Queens
— the family going fishing at the break of day, at the insistence of
their father, and then staying to see the very last colors of the sky,
as insisted by their mom.
The car barrels around the
corner. Everyone’s laughing. Over dinner, Cyndi and Elen talk about
everything — their Sicilian grandmother, their first guitar, Cyndi’s
son, Elen’s first big crush. Cyndi advises you to put some Parmesan on
your pasta. Once or twice, she grins and breaks out into a little song.
Both women are smart, compassionate and unafraid to say what they think.
They’re at ease with each other — and most importantly, themselves.
Elen has come in for the
weekend from southern California, where she lives with her partner and
has her own acupuncture and Chinese herbology practice.
Currently, Cyndi is starring in her first Broadway role ever — as Jenny
in Bertolt Brecht’s renowned The Threepenny Opera. Over the
years, the singer has tackled everything from coming out to the
complications of a drag queen’s double life to abortion. And her voice
is still a force to be reckoned with.
Recently, she performed at the Nobel Peace Concert, toured with Cher and
was nominated for a 2005 Grammy award for her interpretation of the song
“Unchained Melody.”
And the fans, don’t you know, still hang around outside the back stage
door for a good two hours, waiting to catch a glimpse of Cyndi. Once an
icon, always an icon.
Equality:
When you two were growing up, you learned about the importance of
acceptance, of speaking out.
Elen:
Our mother learned by listening to John Kennedy in his speeches. And
what she learned from the era, she tried to instill in us.
Cyndi:
We came from an immigrant family. We came here for a better life. Our
mother and father were first-generation Americans. We learned from that.
Elen: We
were very fortunate. Our parents loved the arts and loved to read, to go
to museums — always learning. We listened to classical music as kids. My
mother loved to dance. She loved “Afternoon of the Faun” by Debussy.
When we were kids, at night, we would go to sleep listening to it.
Cyndi:
Our mother always said, “You have to have faith in yourself.” What drove
me during that time of civil rights was that I saw such injustice
against women. Of course, the law never protected women then. You’ve got
to know your history, and when you know your history and where you came
from, you know you must never allow that to happen again.
Equality:
Yes, and efforts to discriminate keep coming. Like the anti-gay Federal
Marriage Amendment, which says that marriage is only between a man and a
woman.
Elen:
It’s the first time a group would have something taken away from them,
under the Constitution.
Cyndi:
Elen, tell us about your coming out.
Elen: I was so confused. I left home to figure out who I was.
One of the things we don’t address much in the gay community is our own
internalized homophobia. It’s not just the prejudices of the
environment, our family, our friends, our schools. It’s also the kind of
stuff we internalize. It’s a process of becoming comfortable with
yourself. When you can do that, then it’s a much easier thing to tell
people around you what’s going on. When I actually told Cyndi I was gay,
she just said, “Yeah, you didn’t know?” When I told my mother, she had
to think a minute. She didn’t see it. She didn’t get it. Not because she
was a bad person — she just had no exposure.
Cyndi:
And when we told our grandmother…
Elen:
Really? You told her? I didn’t tell.
Equality:
Who was your first crush, Elen?
Elen:
Annette Funicello! [Laughter.]
Equality:
Cyndi was quite accepting of you as a lesbian…
Cyndi:
Well, it was our mother who told us that no matter who you are, “You’re
my kids, even if you come riding in on horseback.”
Elen:
Our father did too. That’s where we got it from. We were very fortunate.
Equality:
Elen, now what is it that you have to be accepting of about Cyndi?
Cyndi:
[Interrupts.] Oh, lots of stuff. The fact that I used to like pink. The
fact that I wanted to wear all her clothes.
Equality:
Anything that not many people may know about you, Cyndi?
Elen: Is
there anything you haven’t said?
Cyndi:
Well, I listen to ABBA sometimes…
-Article and Photo From
Equality Magazine
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